Rutabaga's Reads 2019: Part 14

Normally I read the book before I watch the movie, but in this case, I watched the movie first. I have my out-of-state brother and sister-in-law to thank for this trilogy, and I wholly enjoyed the ridiculous extravagance of the stories.

Crazy Rich Asians (June 11, 2013) by Kevin Kwan.

When her boyfriend asks her to accompany him to his best friend’s wedding, in which he’s the best man, Rachel Chu is excited. Not only is the wedding overseas, but she’ll finally get to meet Nicholas Young’s family! As she and Nick are university professors (she of economics and he of history), Rachel is blindsided when she arrives in Singapore. First, there was the luxurious flight in first class, though she had thought that Nick shouldn’t have splurged on something so extravagantly expensive. Then they’re greeted at the airport by the groom- and bride-to-be, Colin Khoo and Araminta Lee. It turns out the Khoo family is one of the richest families in the world and Araminta is very famous, the supermodel daughter of one of China’s richest men and luxury hotel queen mother. Araminta is a celebrated fashion icon, though both appear down-to-earth, yet theirs is the wedding of the year. It’s a media frenzy to rival any royal wedding! Rachel is unprepared for all the judgment about her lineage (or lack thereof) all the way down to the clothes she wears (and the designers that she clearly doesn’t). She is out of her league and even moreso the first time she’s admitted to Tyersall Park, which is outfitted with Gurkha* guards, no less, and is so vast and protected that it seems remote, like they’re not in Singapore anymore.

            Nick should’ve prepared Rachel for this life and for his family. But how do you explain that you come from a family that’s elite-of-the-elite? His mother, Eleanor, does not approve of her, nor does Shang Su Yi, his ah ma (paternal grandma), and he’s always been close to her. Others around her have shown petty jealousy and downright maliciousness (the fish incident) that she should come in her cheap, no-name clothes on the arm of one of Singapore’s most handsome, phenomenally rich and eligible bachelors. Fortunately, there are those who’ve only shown Rachel kindness. From her college friend, Goh Peik Lin (whose family is ultra-rich), to Astrid Leong Teo, Nick’s beautiful cousin, to Colin and Araminta and Oliver T’sien, another of Nick’s cousins, friends are present but few in a land and lifestyle completely new to Rachel.

            Talk about a grand adventure-of-a-novel! This satirical novel is over-the-top ridiculous yet elegant. Despite all the Asians headlining and decorating the novel, the story remains culturally intense. From Mainland Chinese to overseas Chinese to “ABC” (American-born Chinese), judgment isn’t reserved solely for Rachel and her American self. Reading this story has been wicked good fun, though it doesn’t stop me from wanting to roll my eyes at the extremely vapid and materialistic snobbery. All the same, if given the opportunity, I’d suggest reading this 1,500-carat-gem-of-a-novel on your private jet wearing next season’s Oscar de la Renta with your Chopard by De Rigo sunglasses atop your head and Hermès bag in its own chair while sipping your Ono Champagne Cocktail next to your jet’s koi pond!

*Gurkha: “They are the deadliest soldiers in the world. … The Sultan of Brunei only uses Gurkhas as his private protection force.” (p. 157)

China Rich Girlfriend (June 16, 2015) by Kevin Kwan.

As providence would have it, Eleanor Young’s path crosses with Bao Shaoyen’s. Shaoyen is an immensely wealthy client of her nephew, Edison “Eddie” Cheng, and she’s dealing with trauma that has befallen her son, Carlton (it’s his own fault). When Eleanor and her friends are shown a picture of Carlton, his features are immediately shocking. He looks just like Rachel (except, you know, Rachel has long hair and wears makeup). The resemblance is so strong that Eleanor finally asks Bao Gaoliang (once known as Kao Wei) if he knew a Kerry Ching (Rachel’s mom, though she goes by Kerry Chu) who was married to an abusive man by the name of Zhou Fang Min (yep). He’s completely open to a relationship with his long-lost daughter and in fact finds a connection with her that he’s never had with Carlton (“He had never seen his father display physical affection for anyone like that before, not even his mother.”). Carlton is also very open to knowing Rachel and seems to thrive on having a half-sibling. His not-girlfriend and daughter of one of the richest billionaires in China, Collette Bing, also seems fond of Rachel and Nick, inviting them on her family’s private jet for a massive spending spree and sending delectable foods direct to their lavish hotel suite (suite courtesy of Gaoliang). Unfortunately, Shaoyen is wholly against meeting Rachel, much less welcoming her into their home. She worries about the scandal it’ll bring to their lives when people learn that Gaoliang fathered a child out of wedlock, and she thinks Carlton has betrayed her for wanting to know Rachel.

            Astrid Leong Teo has got her own drama to work through. Gone is the sensible, thoughtful husband, and in its place is someone she doesn’t know. Wealth has gone to Michael’s head and suddenly he “needs” a bigger house, a collection of expensive cars, Astrid in better jewelry and better clothes (she is already a fashion icon to anyone who’s anyone and knows who she is) and only perfection in their five-year-old son, Cassian, including harsh discipline (e.g. being locked in a dark closet for four hours). Michael once wanted a divorce, but Astrid was desperate to keep him out of love. Where is the love now?

            While second novels usually fall short, this one did nothing of the sort. Vicarious escapism at its finest, I was deliriously entertained by the hoity-toity cast in this story. At the very tip-top of their socioeconomic classes with gargantuan egos to match, there is enough snobbery to outfit entire countries with designer handbags. Cattiness jumps levels, and certain characters behave so dreadfully, yet it makes for such a delicious read. I love when a certain socialite gets put in her place, and where I would’ve rooted for Michael in the first book, I hope he falls hard in the next story. That man needs to take a big ole bite of humble pie. As for the reader, I’d recommend settling into a cozy spot with a generous mound of pearls adorned with nonpareils of platinum + precious gems and topped with diamond sprinkles served in a lavish crystal bowl.

Rich People Problems (May 23, 2017) by Kevin Kwan.

The esteemed and lifetime-pampered matriarch, Young Su Yi, has taken a turn for the worse. Her historically favored grandson, Nicholas Young, has been estranged from her these five years since she disapproved of him marrying Rachel Chu. Rachel convinces Nick to go to Singapore alone and make amends with his beloved grandmother. When he arrives at Tyersall Park, he’s barred entrance as Ah Ma has supposedly said she doesn’t want to see him. This comes from Edison Cheng, his ridiculously pompous and high-end-brand-obsessed cousin who’s prone to screaming tantrums. Eddie thinks if he schemes smartly enough and keeps Nick and Astrid away, he alone will inherit Tyersall Park. Who will actually inherit the massive 64-acre, architectural-folly-of-a-property? What are the contents of Su Yi’s will? What secrets has Su Yi kept all these decades?

            Astrid should be looking toward a future with tech billionaire Charlie Wu (whom she’d long ago once been engaged to), but she looks to be heading toward imminent disaster with two bitter ex-spouses (or soon-to-be). Michael Teo is demanding five billion dollars from the heiress and is threatening to go for full custody of their son, Cassian. Isabel Wu is present with multiple psychotic episodes, one of which includes publicly posting an illegally-obtained video of Astrid and Charlie being intimate. All madness has broken loose in her life to the point that her judgmentally racist mother tells her to leave the country.

            Rachel is not off the hook in this installment, as Eleanor is figuratively foaming at the mouth for a grandchild. Her scheming gets disturbingly elaborate and potentially invasive when she invites Rachel to a Bible Study. A niece flown in from Sydney happens to be a gynecologist and there happens to be a gynecologic exam chair set up in the private prayer room of “The Star Trek House” (Carol Tai’s house). Run away. Quick!

            Meanwhile, the newly minted Kitty Bing is fanatical over the stepdaughter she’s never met, Collette (from “China Rich Girlfriend”). She feels constantly upstaged by her, especially now that Collette fled Asia and married some rich, handsome young man with a title. To Kitty, this is war, and it’s one she plans to win.

            All of the over-the-top shenanigans in this concluding novel in a trilogy have been more dramatic than the soapiest soap opera or most salacious tabloid. This trilogy is its own name-dropping gossipmonger. The absurdity of it all makes it simultaneously laugh-out-loud funny and eye-roll-inducing. I love it! I love the story all the way down to the often entertaining footnotes. I certainly never pictured loving a series featuring many (but not all) ultra-rich, wealth-obsessed, upper-echelon snobs, but it’s flashy and enthralling and flamboyantly wicked. Kwan’s storytelling navigates this rarefied world with jocularity and verve. So go all out. Find your most expensive everything, take your private plane to your world’s largest yacht somewhere in the tropics and have your personal Michelin-star-rated chef cook you something delectable and delicious while all your well-paid (because you are fair and generous, of course) personal assistants anticipate all you need before you realize you need it.