"Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date" by Katie Heaney

I was going to lump this title in the “hodgepodge” compilation post I’ve been piecing together for months. But I took it out once I began reading it because it is JUST THAT FUNNY. To me, anyway, because so many pieces of her story resonated with me. In fact, the similarities are alarming, because it seems that we’re fairly close in age.

            And surely not because of the whole not-[long-term-]dating thing. But anyway …

Never Have I Ever (Jan. 14, 2014) by Katie Heaney.

Single for a quarter-of-a-century. That is the way of Katie Heaney’s [non-] love life for her first 25 years on this planet. She has had numerous crushes and infatuations on local guys (and celebrities – who hasn’t?). Her memoir – a word which may seem at odds with her age – is sectioned into four distinct parts, complete with an introduction and an epilogue. It is very organized, and from reading her book, she strikes me as an organized person. The witty author writes using humor, but also contemplates throughout the book. Her reflections remind me of how we might say something aloud to work out our thoughts on something. So there is confusion and self-doubt and reassurance (the latter from members of her “cabinet”). Katie is equipped with a graduate degree, best friends and a good family, but there is that matter of the elusive actual-boyfriend. Why the absence of a love life? Maybe it’s related to her idea of herself as the “Bermuda Triangle” and her best friend – who tends to have no problem attaining a relationship status – as a “lighthouse.”

            I am not a lighthouse. Katie said that. But it pertains to me, too. So it’s almost like it’s my line. Except it’s hers. But I could’ve said it even though  I didn’t because I didn’t think of it in the first place … Yep. Exactly.

            I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a good laugh. To be fair, it is perhaps not as amusing to those who are married or in a serious relationship or actively dating on a regular basis. The humor may also be less understood in those not familiar with such things as Home Improvement’s middle-child or Dream Phone. But I think a lot of us – especially women – can relate to her frustrations over childhood crushes and teenaged ones. We can relate to the over-analysis of anything from cute guys to the perfect outfit to [insert something here that’s personal to you]. You’ll feel like you’re hanging out with Katie.

            So, I REALLY enjoyed this book. Not, perhaps, for the obvious reason based on the title. Though there is that. But for all the parts in the book that could’ve been me. Crushing on JTT. Being a goody-two-shoes in school. General sarcastic attitude. Harry Potter. The Sims (The Sims 2, in my case). And, fine, the lack of long-term dating. Of course, there are some major differences. I am petite, and she is apparently not. I have never been drunk, and I have never smoked a cigarette. I quite enjoy the game “Apples to Apples.” And, still to this day, I have NOT attempted online dating.

            Nor have I ever made matching, themed T-shirts. But for Bermuda Triangles, I totally would!