Rutabaga's Reads 2022: Part 11

It looks promising that there *should* be two nonfiction compilations this year. Here is the first one.

Crying in H Mart (Apr. 20, 2021) by Michelle Zauner.

The author also known by her stage name as Japanese Breakfast, Michelle Zauner pauses in her singing and songwriting to give readers her memoir. It’s one of rebellion and regret, angst and endurance, family and food. Zauner tells of what it’s like to grow up in rural Eugene, Oregon, one of not many Asians in a Caucasian landscape with an indomitable Korean mother (“Hers was tougher than tough love. It was brutal, industrial-strength.”). There’s her mother’s harping about skin, beauty and physical appearance and other particular expectations foisted upon her household, but there are treasured moments with her mother in her grandmother’s little apartment in Seoul. She practically flees to the East Coast for college, starts a fledgling band (all must begin somewhere) and meets the one who’ll eventually be her husband. Growing up, the impression is that her Koreanness is oppressive. And her mother is too much, especially when she screams at her daughter, ”I had an abortion after you because you were such a terrible child!” When her mother is diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer, things change. After her mom’s death in October 2014, Zauner sharply feels the loss of her mom, of her Korean side, the culture, the language, the food. Especially the food. Fortunately, her story doesn’t end at grief, but continues with a music career that takes flight.

            Right away, Zauner’s candor impresses me. While I can imagine growing up with her mom wasn’t easy, I found myself repulsed by Zauner’s disrespect. To call her a brat would be too kind. But making it beyond those rebellious battle years to the person finding herself, growing and improving, diving into upping her Korean culinary skills, is amazing. There is almost lyrical movement in her journey of finding success growing from grief and being able to immortalize that pathos through music. To be fair, I’m only writing of my impressions reading her memoir; I am not familiar with the artist’s music. I love how Zauner takes initiative in embracing her Korean culture, especially the food, and no longer thinks of her Koreanness as a negative aspect of her (the musician is biracial; her father is Caucasian). She evolves and endures. I was fully immersed in her story, though I couldn’t help comparing our vast differences in upbringing.  Do not miss out on this book! Side effects may include wanting to eat vast amounts of Korean food! :-)

The Korean (Nov. 17, 2021) by Africa Byongchan Yoon.

The daughter of an Ambassador to the United Nations for Cameroon, Suzanne Africa Engo was used to people and highly emotionally intelligent from a young age. She was exposed to other cultures early on, including at the United Nations school at age six and later, at a boarding school in London. As she forged her own path, activism became key to her life. She became a celebrated activist, attending galas with celebrities, living a big, busy, Manhattan life. She also gained 120 pounds. She decided upon a life change to find the person she wanted to be so she could find a husband and have children, but it was a run-in with a Korean halmoni (or halmeoni, meaning grandmother) calling her fat that got her on that new path. As her weight dropped - she lost 110 pounds in a year - so did her feelings toward her Manhattan lifestyle. She ran all the way from NYC to Chicago and met Oprah. She met The Korean, the man who’d become her husband and father of their three children, of all places, in Iowa. She discusses the benefits of meditation in her life, especially through an extremely intense health scare. Through it all, there’s food. Not junk food, but delicious, healthy Korean food with lots of kimchi included, of course!

            For readers who appreciate an ugly-duckling-turned-swan tale, that’s also nonfiction, this may be a story for you. For someone like me, who grew up in a rural area, Yoon’s life seems grandiose, even from an early age. My favorite parts of the story include any mention of Korean food, and the times when she’s mentioning Koreans and their consumption of garlic made me laugh out loud (“Use one clove of garlic, said no Korean ever.”). Sometimes I felt her chapters waxed on too long, like her point was made, but she kept elaborating on the point. It also bothers me where she writes on page 14, “I thought to myself, Well, what do I have to do to have these children, that husband, and that life? They won’t come if I am as fat as I am now!” I don’t like to believe that a person’s size should ever be indicative of one’s worthiness of love. But overall, Yoon’s story is winsome but not without personal challenges. Fortunately, there’s also personal growth and achieving major dreams. Africa Yoon is a bright light to the world, and I expect she’ll continue to shine bright.

            Note: I read this story after hearing of it on the actor Daniel Dae Kim’s Instagram Story, but for those reading this story from the perspective of someone who wants motivation to lose lots of weight, please understand that we all have different circumstances. Yes, Africa lost an impressive amount of weight - 110 pounds in a year - and went on to run over 1,000 miles from NYC to Harpo Studios in Chicago, but most people do not have five free hours one day a week (much less five or six days every week) to devote solely to working out. For others, perhaps they can’t afford gym memberships or personal trainers. And for probably most people, we don’t just personally know top-name yogis or running gurus or fitness/wellness pros on a first-name, we’re-in-each-other’s-contacts-lists basis. Know that it’s all right to do what you can with the resources available to you.

Unfinished: A Memoir (Feb. 9, 2021) by Priyanka Chopra Jonas.*

A dual-continent star, Priyanka Chopra Jonas gives readers insight into her growing-up years in India, her teenage years living with relatives and attending school in the United States, her return to India and her unplanned entrance into the pageant world, and her rise in national (India) and international fame after winning Miss World. Her life has already been an interesting one, from leading what might sometimes have felt like a nomadic lifestyle to jumping into the glittery and bedazzling but highly intense world of pageant competitions to the ups and downs of establishing herself as an actress of repute, both in Bollywood films and her international work. She talks of her involvement as a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador and how rewarding and heart-wrenching that work is. She tells readers the tough journey her beloved father traversed when he was diagnosed with cancer, how he endured and supported her despite the brutality of the aggressive cholangiocarcinoma that eventually took his life in June of 2013. And, of course, she shares her story of how she first met music star Nick Jonas and the seemingly fairytale, whirlwind adventure their romance-that-led-to-marriage is.

            I did not read Chopra Jonas’ story because of familiarity with her work; I’m mostly not familiar with her work, and while I know she starred on “Quantico,” that wasn’t a show that I ever got into watching. I read her story, because my mind told me to read it, and I’m so glad that I read her lively, engaging memoir. I’m impressed by the importance her parents placed on being good humanitarians and just good people in general. She’s a staunch supporter of women’s rights around the world and it shines through her work as a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador. Her writing displays her passion for her craft (acting and also producing), exudes warmth and shows tenacity in going for what she wants. There have certainly been remarkable triumphs, but there has also been intense grief and humbling challenges along her rise to fame. She’s candid and bold, charismatic and resilient, ever-inspiring. She is a woman who has a deep love of her family and her culture. For anyone that only thinks of her as a pretty face, think again.

*Professionally, I believe the actress has returned to using Priyanka Chopra, but I included Jonas, for that is how the author’s name is portrayed as the autobiographer.